Politics

Why Caitlyn Jenner deserves the Arthur Ashe Courage Award

My first instinct when reading the angry - and often hateful - responses to Caitlyn Jenner and her gender transition was, "Why do people care?" After all, how does Caitlyn Jenner's journey personally affect anyone outside her own family and friends?

Then, I took a step back.

I realized her journey does affect people. Caitlyn Jenner has made her journey very public and in doing so is asking all of us to fundamentally re-examine our understanding of gender

That is huge. That is scary. I get that. 

But - like I tell my kids - anything worth doing is a little scary.

My thoughts on the Duggar sex abuse scandal

Let me be clear from the beginning. I have never liked the Duggars. I remember watching their first couple of specials when they were still 14 Kids and Pregnant Again! and their particular brand of wholesome never sat well with me. 

I don't believe God uses miscarriages to communicate his dislike of birth control. I don't believe God sends daughters first to help take care of the sons who come later. I don't believe a woman's hair is her "glory" or that modesty is important not to "tempt" men. 

I don't believe a lot of these things. I also don't begrudge Michelle Duggar's right to subscribe to this particular set of beliefs. To me, feminism means choice. If you want to vacuum every day in pearls like June Cleaver, go for it! Just don't tell me - or your daughters - they have to.

Do Sex Offender Registries Work?

Last week, my husband and I were watching Our America with Lisa Ling. In an episode titled “State of Sex Offenders,” Ling spent time in Florida, a state with some of the toughest sex offender registry laws in the country. She interviewed men forced to live in tents in the woods due to zoning laws, a sex offender who helps other sex offenders find places to live, a sex offender recently released from prison, and Lauren Book, one of the state’s high profile survivors of sexual molestation and the driving force behind many of Florida’s registry laws.

During the show, I found myself feeling something that as a mother you are never supposed to feel—sympathy for sex offenders.
 

The Real Problem With Pink Legos

My daughter turned four at the beginning of February. She’s interested in building things, pretend play, super heroes, and animals. Between those interests and the twin gift-giving holidays of her birthday and Christmas, my partner and I have had a lot of conversations about Legos in the last couple of months.

How we talk about vaccines

Let's get this out of the way. Both of my sons have received the Measles, Mumps, and Rubella vaccine. Not that I owe anyone that information, but I thought I would make it clear from the beginning considering the current fervor surround the measles outbreak.

My children have received all of their vaccinations but on an alternate schedule. I do not believe that vaccines cause autism. However, I also do not believe that every child should be pushed through a system that treats every child (and their immune system) the same. I'm also not sure just because we can vaccinate that means we should vaccinate (I'm looking at you chicken pox).

I understand that our modern vaccination system has saved millions of lives. Overall, it is a medical marvel that does an incredibly good job at what it is supposed to do—prevent deaths from infectious disease. However, just because it is a good system doesn't mean it's a perfect system. It can and should be improved upon and not just by adding more vaccinations to an already crowded schedule.

Remembering Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

We recently saw Selma - the Oscar-nominated (and snubbed) film about the 1965 march for voting rights from Selma to Montgomery, AL. It tells the story of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., as well as James Bevel, Hosea Williams, and John Lewis, as they fought for civil rights for black Americans. 

I loved David Oweloyo's portrayal of King, including the difficulties he faced within his marriage. It is an incredibly powerful experience to remember that the legend that is Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was also a very real man with problems and flaws and struggles all this own. It is the same experience I had when reading the Autobiography of Malcolm X - the connection you feel to a historical figure when you remember they were a human being just like you.

To me, it is important because it not only takes Dr. King. out of the history books, but also the struggle for which he fought so hard. As today's holiday approached and school lessons filled with stories of Dr. King, my son and I have spent a lot of time talking about the work of MLK. I find it so difficult to impart the ongoing struggle of civil rights without taking away from the successes of Dr. King's life and work. 

I want him to be so much more than a speech to my children.

One of my favorite ways to remember there was a very real human being behind his famous speech is Freedom's Ring illustration of Dr. King's "I have a dream" speech. The video is a beautifully illustrated representation but also allows you to see the edits Dr. King made to his written speech and the way it varies from the famous spoken version.

Something about seeing his edits and thinking about how he must have worked and stressed over the speech makes the entire thing seem so much more real. 

I highly recommend it if you are looking for a way to remember Dr. King today or any day.

 

Further Thoughts on #Ferguson

Credit David Broome, UPI

Credit David Broome, UPI

When Michael Brown was shot and killed by Darren Wilson on August 9, two stories emerged. The first - complicated in its own right - is what happened between these two people. Some things we know for sure. Michael Brown was black, 18 years old, and unarmed. After being shot, he laid in the street for four hours. Darren Wilson was white, a police officer, and armed. 

Like any other violent altercation, the evidence is anything but conclusive. Memory is flawed. Witnesses conflict each other. We all interrupt events through the prism of our own perception. However, a grand jury found that there was not probable cause to charge Darren Wilson with illegal use of lethal force. 

That would seemingly be the end - at least legally - to the first story.

However, the second story is much bigger than the events that took place between those two people on August 9th. The second story is what the death of Michael Brown illustrates about black communities and white police forces, the militarization of our police forces, the legal responsiblity of police officers who use deadly force, and much much more. 

What bothers me is there seems to be a fundamental misunderstanding about what the conclusion of one story means to the other. When Michael Brown was first killed, the was a narrative that he was gunned down with his back turned and arms up. As the physical evidence suggested otherwise, all of a sudden all the valid criciticisms of our criminal justice systems and its treatment of the black community seemed to fall on deaf - mainly white - ears.

So, let me just say, I don't really care if Michael Brown stole those cigarellos. I don't care if he was disrespectful to a police officer. And while whether or not he charged at Darren Wilson is absolutely relevant, it doesn't change the fact that the interaction between these two people is still important to bigger issues in our society.

First, statistically, you cannot argue with the fact black Americans receive disproportionately violent responses from the police. They are stopped and frisked at higher rates. They are arrested at higher rates. They receive harsher sentences. They are incarcerated at higher rates. 

Now, what I hear in private conversations, is a lot about "personal responsibility" and "culture" and "poverty." Personally, that seems to be a round about way of saying "They deserve it." 

And if that's how you feel, then you let's just put it out there and address it directly. If you think based on the color of a person's skin, that person is more likely to be violent or criminal then just say so. But let's not pretend that because we have a black President, people - including police officers - have stopped making those assumptions. 

Because, they. have. not. 

And that's why people are so PISSED. Think back to a time when you were accused of something you did not do (if you're black, this should have be easy!) and think about how you would feel if this happened ALL THE TIME. Think about how you would feel if from preschool on you were treated as if you were bad and think about the how that would affect your pschye. 

Then, think about if you were not only treated unfairly on a day-to-day basis but also if you knew you and your family were fundamentally excluded from systems meant to provide others with opportunity - historical systems like home ownership as a path to the middle class, political representation as a path to political power, or education as a path to economic independence

These systems were big and impactful and to think that each generation starts with a clean slate with which to "pull themselves up by their boot straps" is naive at best and deliberately ignorant at worse.

To be honest, I don't know the role personal responsibliity plays in each of our lives. I struggle with this issue a lot - even within my own family. 

All I do know is that it's not simple and that it's different for every person. I also know that no amount of personal responsiblity can erase the racism that still exist in our society. 

So, the decision of the grand jury doesn't change anything for me. The second story remains unchanged. Black americans are treated unfairly by the police and under the law. Our police forces are over-militarized. Police officers do a very difficult job but they are still human beings that should be held responsible for their use of deadly force - something that does not currently happen in Ferguson or elsewhere. 

Why I signed the Duggar petition

The Duggar family - stars of the TLC reality show 19 Kids and Counting - is in the news again and not because they added a 20th child to their brood. No, an internet petition on Change.org is calling for TLC to cancel 19 Kids and Counting because of the family's recent opposition to an anti-discrimination ordinance in Arkansas.

The ordinance - which passed by the way - prohibits businesses and public accomodations from discrimination against people based on the person's sexual orientation or gender identity. 

I signed the petition.