"How's the campaign going?"
It's the question I get most often. It's also the question I'm never quite sure how to answer.
Good? ... Great! ... Your guess is as good as mine. ... We'll see May 17th!
The truth - I suppose - all depends on what you're measuring.
This weekend we hosted a Winter ONE-derland party in honor of Felix's first birthday. Considering this child was born during a snow, it seemed like an appropriate theme. Well, the weather had other plans and it was 70 and sunny! I could have hosted the dang party outside!
For my 30th birthday, I created a list of 30 things I wanted to do. One was to write a historical fiction short story. This is the story and as Ruby keeps calling to me here lately. I thought I'd share it here.
One of Nicholas's New Year's resolutions was to try freezer meals. He'd prepped meals for the week on and off through 2015 and wanted to see how it would work to prepare an entire month's worth. Then, we could just pull a meal from the deep freeze, throw it in the crockpot, and on a busy day dinner would be waiting for us.
On this week's episode of Pantsuit Politics, Beth and I ask if the recent uproar over an email regarding Halloween costumes at Yale is evidence of increasing intolerance among college students.
(Spoiler: Not really...)
I love Bernie. I’ve always loved Bernie. I loved Bernie before loving Bernie was cool.
He was always my favorite Senator to hear speak during my time in the Senate. After I moved home, every time he’d come on The Diane Rehm show I’d crank up the volume and agree loudly with everything he said. As he’d passionately defend the working poor and rail against the growing economic inequities, I’d testify like I was in church. “Amen!” “Let ‘em know, Bernie!”
But …
I’ve been here before.
People are talking about gun control. Over Facebook, over dinner, around town, I’ve found myself in multiple conversations about gun legislation and mental health and Constitutional rights. The tragic shooting at Umpqua Community College in Roseburg, Oregon, - and President Obama’s impassioned speech afterwards - seemed to have sparked honest reflection on what we as a nation are doing wrong when it comes to guns.
I’ve noticed a reoccurring argument in many of the conversations I’ve had over the past few days. It’s an argument as old as guns themselves.
“Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.”
This theme is followed closely by a call for enforcing the gun control laws we already have and increased outreach care for the mentally ill.
No one - especially me - is going to argue against enforcement or attention to mental health. However, particularly with regards to mental heath - as my friend Kristin passionately argues here - there is no simple answer.
I don’t spend a lot of time bemoaning the state of the world. I like to take the long view when it comes to history and, as overwhelming as certain global trends can be, I believe that the world is a good place worth bringing children into.
That is not to say I am immune to fear.
I worry about climate change and the growing power of ISIS. Like the rest of the world, I saw those babies’ lifeless bodies on the shores of Turkey and thought, “How could things have gotten this bad? What kind of world are we leaving to our children?”
However, there is an undercurrent I’ve noticed when people discuss the problems plaguing our planet and its people. I’ve noticed it when people talk about the refugee crisis in Europe. I’ve noticed it when people talk about Kim Davis. I’ve noticed it when people talk about the Black Lives Matter movement.
Then, as I listened to an episode of This American Life, it really hit home.
Welcome, Beth, who wrote the post I've been meaning to write for WEEKS.
This summer, the internet appears to have caught a case of False Dichotomy-tosis. With every opinion on a major news story comes a flurry of memes, charts, and comments announcing that that’s YOUR WRONG OPINION and this is MY RIGHT ASSERTION OF REALITY and our positions on this topic are mutually exclusive. It seems we need a way to acknowledge that the limited characters in our social media discourse don’t always afford space for a complete expression of thought.
I hate to diagnose a problem without offering a cure, so here’s my proposal: if you’re posting about current events or other controversial topics (or topics that you can’t believe are controversial but trust-me-they-will-be-when-you-expose-them-to-the-scrutiny-of-your-Facebook-friends), just end the post with #Nuance as sort of a modern footnote telling the reader, “I have more to say but I’m out of time, and you’re out of interest. Please don’t make a bunch of weird assumptions based on this post, cool?” I understand that the world really doesn’t need another hashtag, but it seems from scrolling my feeds that we need a short way to introduce some fine print on our tweets and status updates.
For example:
Post: Caitlyn Jenner is brave. #Nuance
#Nuance meaning: My definition of “brave” is expansive, and I see bravery as a broad spectrum of risk-taking worthy of admiration. By calling Ms. Jenner “brave,” I don’t mean to rule out the possibility that there are other brave people in the world or other people who are markedly more brave than she is. I don’t qualify all of my statements on bravery because that seems rude. For example, I wouldn’t say to a friend who just launched a start-up, “hey, that’s brave of you! I mean, obviously not like the bravery of our men and women in uniform or people battling cancer…but I still admire your entrepreneurial spirit.” Or “My Dad is really my hero…he’s not like, Superman or an astronaut or a Navy Seal. But, I still hold him in high esteem.”
Post: Black lives matter. #Nuance
#Nuance meaning: By recognizing the tragedy and existence of institutionalized racism, I don’t mean to discount other lives. Of course, all lives matter—it’s just that we have some serious systemic problems. Also, I think almost all police officers are dedicated public servants and heroes. But a few aren’t, and that hurts everyone, including the excellent police officers.
Post: I’m totally torn up about Cecil the Lion. #Nuance
#Nuance meaning: By expressing my sadness about the senseless death of one of Earth’s most magnificent creatures, I don’t intend to display callousness about anything else, including (but not limited to) other endangered species, abused animals, children, the unborn, individuals living in poverty, dentists who don’t slaughter wild animals, etc. I also don’t intend to express any opinion about (1) the type of hunting that, say, your uncle does, (2) eating meat, or (3) global climate change.
Post: I think Mike Huckabee’s comments on the Iran deal disqualify him from serving as Commander in Chief. #Nuance
#Nuance meaning: I don’t know much about the Iran deal because I haven’t read it, and I bet you haven’t either. I also don’t pretend to understand all of the social, economic, cultural, historic, and religious forces that influence Middle Eastern dynamics. That said, I think the Iran deal is scary, too. What I’ve heard worries me. But I think references to World War II should only be used to talk about what actually happened during World War II. I think speaking only in hyperbole jeopardizes our ability to rationally debate ideas. And I think the leader of the free world ought to be more sensitive and careful than that
Post: Donald Trump shouldn’t be Commander in Chief. #Nuance
#Nuance meaning: I, too, am fed up with the gridlock in Washington and politics as usual. I don’t trust most politicians, and I worry about the state of our government. I think we need leaders who have demonstrated success outside of government to have any chance at reforming government. However, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want a POTUS with some knowledge of foreign affairs (aside from incendiary talking points) and some level of humility.
Post: Hillary Clinton should never have used her private email at work. #Nuance
#Nuance meaning: Yes, I’m a woman. And I would very much like a woman to be president. But, more than that, I value transparent and open government. I would also like our POTUS to be more cognizant of cybersecurity issues and to be willing to be inconvenienced by 50 devices if that’s what it takes to keep our information safe. What’s that? Oh…yes, I would feel the same way if Ms. Clinton were male.
Here’s the thing: we don’t have to stake out these extremes, and doing so is reductive and unworthy of our democracy. Our social media discourse matters, so we should elevate it by asking questions, fleshing out ideas, and, respectfully engaging with each other. If we can’t or won’t do those things, we can at least stop assuming that someone is against everything we believe in based on a single tweet. You can believe in gun control and care about the Second Amendment. You can acknowledge the existence of man-made climate change and God (for that matter, you can even acknowledge global warming on a snowy day). You can be against drug use and pro-legalization. You can pray every night and believe prayer in school is problematic. We can and should examine our positions and allow for depth in both our own perspectives and the perspectives of others. Go forth and tweet, facebook, and blog—just make space for the entirety of the conversation.
Beth is a mom, wife, sister, friend, and HR executive. She's also on a journey to become a yoga teacher. She likes watermelon, reality television, and politics.
This post sparked a discussion between Beth and I ... that turned into an idea... that turned into a podcast - Pantsuit Politics!
My first job out of college was at Planned Parenthood of Central North Carolina. I ran the Emergency Contraception Hotline. EC was still by prescription only so all day long I would take calls and fax out prescriptions. I liked to tell people I prevented more abortions in that year than most people do in their entire life.
I learned a lot that year about Planned Parenthood the organization, about their mission, about the women they serve. I also learned a lot about abortion services and the women and men who provide them through Planned Parenthood.
These were the most dedicated, most compassionate, most authentic people with which I have ever worked.
In 2nd grade, I developed an obsession with Gone with the Wind. I don’t remember the first time I saw the movie, but I do remember watching it compulsively. I could recite every dress Scarlett wore in the order she wore them. I knew all the details of her life and started collecting Gone with the Wind memorabilia.
I dressed up as Scarlett for Halloween. I named the little black gerbil I received for Christmas Prissy, an incredibly embarrassing personal factoid I have only told a handful of people up until this post.
In high school, I finally read the book. I remember loving the novel even more than the movie and reading the 1000+ pages in a couple of days.
What I don’t remember at any point during my love affair with Gone with the Wind was racism.
At least once a week, I get the same message on Facebook. It is some variation on “I don’t know how you do it!” Usually, these messages come from my more progressive friends who express astonishment at my ability to share my thoughts on very controversial topics without losing my cool.
My response is almost always the same. I share my honest belief that if we cannot even TALK about important subjects such as religion and politics with respect then that there is no hope for taking any sort of meaningful action towards change.
I believe that. I do.
However, the reason I can talk about religion and politics and stay calm is a little more complicated than that.
