"How's the campaign going?"
It's the question I get most often. It's also the question I'm never quite sure how to answer.
Good? ... Great! ... Your guess is as good as mine. ... We'll see May 17th!
The truth - I suppose - all depends on what you're measuring.
This weekend we hosted a Winter ONE-derland party in honor of Felix's first birthday. Considering this child was born during a snow, it seemed like an appropriate theme. Well, the weather had other plans and it was 70 and sunny! I could have hosted the dang party outside!
For my 30th birthday, I created a list of 30 things I wanted to do. One was to write a historical fiction short story. This is the story and as Ruby keeps calling to me here lately. I thought I'd share it here.
One of Nicholas's New Year's resolutions was to try freezer meals. He'd prepped meals for the week on and off through 2015 and wanted to see how it would work to prepare an entire month's worth. Then, we could just pull a meal from the deep freeze, throw it in the crockpot, and on a busy day dinner would be waiting for us.
I thought that after a year and a half pregnancy in 14 months I would feel different. I thought that after the heartbreak of pregnancy loss followed closely by the emotional and hormonal roller coaster of another pregnancy I would feel certain.
I thought after the nausea and the hip pain and the sleepless nights I would hold this baby in my arms, look down at him, and say, "Hello, little one. You are my last."
I tried.
I wrote this post a couple of years ago but have been thinking about graciousness a lot lately so thought I'd share it again.
I stumbled upon this quote recently and immediately taped it up on my bathroom mirror. It seemed to perfectly capture how I have been feeling late. I spent so many years trying to gain confidence and learn to stick up for myself that recently I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve overshot my mark. In my efforts to defend myself, do I forget about other people?
I love Joanna Goddard's series My Beauty Uniform on her blog A Cup of Jo and decided I would share my own beauty uniform since my post on my new creme cleansing routine sparked such great discussion!
My Daily Beauty Routine
Depends on the day! Truth talk. Now that I have a new baby some days I straight up don't have time to do much beyond pin my bangs back and throw on some clothes. However, I really try to keep those days few and far between.
Most days I wear L'Oreal Paris True Match Naturale Mineral Foundation. My mother-in-law stuck some in my stocking about five years ago and I've been wearing it ever since. Not the most traditional way to discover new makeup but I love this stuff b/c it provides nice coverage without making me feel like my skin is gunked up. Plus, it's REALLY nice in the summer when it's hot and it contains SPF.
In fact, I liked it so much I also wear the blush!
I usually sweep a little bit eyeshadow on - usually whatever color I have on hand. Then, add a little bit of brown eyeliner to the outside of my upper lids and put on mascara. I've switched brands a couple of times recently but I'm going back to Maybelline New York Volum' Express because I haven't found anything I like near as much.
It’s birthday party season in the Holland household. Griffin's birthday is May 16th and Amos's birthday is June 3rd so the party planning has begun in earnest. Every year I spend a ton of time planning (and designing and crafting and baking) for two big parties to celebrate these awesome little guys.
I go big and I'm not going to apologize.
Not only am I pregnant, but two of my closest friends from college are also due within weeks of me – one with twins! In an effort to save our friends multiple car trips, we scheduled both Aimee’s and Erin’s baby showers last weekend. It was a party planning bonanza and I thought I’d share some of the adorable details.
First up on Saturday was Aimee’s shower celebrating the arrival of twin boys – Noah and Charlie. Our theme was “A Perfect Pair.”
Brown and green were also the colors in her nursery and we tried to use baby items she could take and use in their room – blankets, onesies, and a name banner. The adorable invitations above were from Paperlicious. We played a Twin Baby Babble Word Game that I designed to match the invitations. We also had a “Pear Tree” where everyone could write their hopes for the babies on little paper pears to hang on the tree. The momma-to-be took them all home in a little book at the end of the shower.
Everything went beautifully and we passed out Doublemint gum as party favors as everyone was leaving.
Just in case you have a twin shower around the corner – I’m sharing a free printable version of the Twin Baby Babble game with all of you!
Enjoy!
I love holding my babies. I've always felt like holding a sleeping infant is a form of meditation and I can feel my heart rate slow and my body relax as Felix naps on my chest.
I don't get to hold him enough. There are chores to do and places to go and I feel like I'm always rousing him to shove him in his car seat or his swing. I hate it and I get downright weepy when our snuggle time suffers.
And yet...
Since the week he was born I've heard the same message.
“You need to put that baby down.”
The centerpiece of the room is the wall decal by Designed Designer. I wanted the main palette to be a soft gray and white with pops of orange so I painted the walls Sherwin Williams Grayish.
We've been so happy with Griffin's Baby Mod crib that we went with Baby Mod Modena 3-in-1 Fixed-Side Convertible Crib for Amos. My mom sewed the crib skirt out of Waverly Cross Section in Charcoal, which also makes an appearance on the pillow in the rocker and and the closet curtain. My mom made all of these and I'm so grateful! The gorgeous hand crocheted blanket was a gift from my friend Annie.
The bookshelf is an original built by my stepdad. Griffin has an identical shelf, which I partially credit for his passion for books. I love how it makes books a part of the room and how easily accessible they are. The birdhouse nightlight was also crafted by my stepfather from a basic birdhouse bought at Michael's. I cut the little squirrel and bunny decals on my Silhouette using white flocked vinyl.
I got my Eames (ripoff) rocker as planned and added a grey knitted pouf from CB2 andMarius stool from Ikea. One of my favorite pieces in the room are the limited edition Heather Ross prints hanging above the rocker. (I had them first, btw!)
Beyond my original palette of gray, white, and orange, I brought in a light blue and green using the Give a Hoot Shower Curtain from Target. I bought one curtain to hang in front of the closet and an additional one for the rocker pillow and window shades. For the shades, I simply cut out some of the owls and used spray adhesive to adhere them to my roller shades.
The changing table was a generous gift from a friend which I painted blue to match the owls in the curtain. The color is Sherwin Williams Liquid Blue. I love the way the yarn initials fit above the table.
This tree is one of my favorite touches. I decided at the last minute to move one of the decals in to the corner of the room and then I added a black vinyl decal (cut on my Silhouette of course) that make it look like Nicholas and I carved our initials in the tree. Nicholas thinks it's cheesy, but I don't care
Below the tree is a table and chairs my grandparents gave to me as a child. As far as the closet, since I never EVER close Griffin's closet doors I decided to remove the doors in Amos's room and make it part of the room. I painted the inside of the closet the same orange as the birds. It was scary at first but I really like the way in turned out.
In fact, I love the way the entire room turned out. It's so serene and is one of my favorite rooms in the house. We took Amos's newborn portraits in there and I have to say he seemed pretty at ease there as well.
Although memories may bring pain, they also bring comfort, for as long as you remember, this child is still part of you.
I don’t know the exact moment our baby died. It’s a strange thing the not knowing. It seems like something I should know. I should know the precise moment everything changed. It seems like that is the moment I should take to remember the passing of a year.
I know the day I found out the baby was gone.
