bluegrass redhead

The Cost of Childhood

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Sometimes I wonder how many kids I would have if money wasn’t a consideration.

As my husband and I contemplate baby #3, it’s our primary concern. Yes, you are sleep-deprived. Yes, they have meltdowns and eventually learn to crawl out of their cribs. Yes, they ruin your furniture. But all the stresses and struggles of raising small children are – generally speaking – temporary.

Before you know it, they are walking and talking and taking the ACT. But they never get cheaper. In fact, quit the opposite. They just get more damn expensive.

Obviously, my family has chosen one of the options The Other Sarah alluded to in her post on the high cost of raising a child. We moved to a smaller market. I am pretty honest about the many motivations behind our move to Paducah – one of which was undoubtedly the lower cost of living.

If I was to estimate the cost of raising Griffin his first year, I would put it at less than half the national average of $27,000. But even with fulltime daycare costing $900 a month instead of $4000, that’s still $11,000.

And again, babies are expensive but teenagers will bleed. you. dry.

So, what is a parent to do?

At the end of the day, it would be irresponsible to ignore financial considerations. Of course, we have to think about daycare costs and insurance premiums and college savings.

However, it can’t be the only thing we consider. The decision to grow your family has to involve more than math. For me, that meant looking down at a teeny tiny Amos when he was only a few hours old and thinking, “This is not my last baby.”

I just knew. I knew it deep down in the deepest part of myself. It was part gut, part heart, part instinct. Our family is not finished and all the scare tactics and statistics can’t convince me otherwise. Everything worth having costs something. Children are no different.

And no – because I know you’re thinking it – it’s not about wanting a girl. If I knew with a 100% certainty our third child would be a boy, I would still want a third baby.  

Even with all the ups and downs, I’m still ready to ride this roller coaster one more time … no matter the cost of the ticket. 

 

And tell me - how big of a role did finances play in your own decision to have (or not to have) kids?




Why Miley Matters

 Last night Miley Cyrus twerked her way into the national conversation. People who haven’t watched MTV (much less the VMAs) in years are suddenly well-versed in the over-sexualized performance of the former Hanna Montana, as well as her co-performer Robin Thicke.

There has been a predictable backlash against Miley Cyrus. People are rightly claiming she’s in it for the attention. People are worrying about an ensuing Britney-like break with reality. People are doing a fair amount of slut-shaming.

However, when we make this discussion about the personal choices of Miley Cyrus we are missing the point entirely.

Miley matters but not for the reasons you think.

#O2OChat Tips for Using Photos in Blog Posts

Today I joined Anna Epp from Life is Good at the BeachDeanna Garretson from Domestic ChickyBridget Ivey from The Ivey League, and Ashley Paige from I Love You More Than Carrots for a #O2OChat over at One2One Network on tips and tricks for using photos in your blog posts. 

We covered lots of ground from whether or not to watermark your images to great photo edition software. So, if you're looking to improve your skills, head on over and check it out!

 

Is opting out ever ok?

Ten years ago, the Opt Out Revolution was in full swing. A 60 Minutes feature and a New York Times Magazine cover story reported on a growing number of elite, well-educated women leaving high-powered careers to stay at home full time and raise kids.  Pushing strollers for the camera and telling reporters how fulfilling their new lives were, these women were heroes to some and villains to others.

Now, the Opt Out Revolutionaries are back in the news with another New York Times Magazine article entitled “The Opt-Out Generation Wants Back In.” A decade later, many of the women are back in the workforce either due to divorce, economic necessity, or pure preference. After “off-ramping” to raise children, they are now back on the career path only in lesser positions and with lower salaries. 

Which raises the question - was opting out a mistake? 

Flashback Friday: My Book About Me

Welcome to Flashback Friday, where I delve deep into the piles of my childhood memorabilia so that we can reminisce, laugh at the bad perms, and finally prove that merely throwing away your NKOTB door hanging does not diminish your love for Jordan Knight.

I thought since we've already talked All About Us - we should probably discuss My Book About ME!

In a little insight that should surprise NO ONE, I like to talk about myself. This is a passion I did not discover with the advent of the internet. Oh no! This is a passion I have been pursuing for a very long time.

The Pros and Cons of Being Childless

I've invited my dear friend Lydia to share her thoughts on being childless. It felt wrong to invite a discussion and then not share this space with someone who has actually made the decision we're discussing. I've known Lydia for over fifteen years and I knew she would do the topic justice. 

When I was a little girl, I don't remember having more than one baby doll. That sole doll was named Drowsy. I didn't carry her around like a baby, I didn't walk her in a play stroller, I didn't play "mom" to her. She was my friend - my pretty tow-headed, pink and white polka-dotted friend.

Eventually I outgrew Drowsy and grew up to be a young woman who claimed with intense conviction that she never wanted children.