bluegrass redhead

Higher Education: Worth the cost?

Recently I was at dinner with a group of friends, several of whom were mothers. As is often the case, the conversation had turned to the education system. We were discussing testing and home schooling and teachers, when another friend – who does not yet have children – asked me a question that caught me off guard.

“Let me ask you a question. Will you tell your children they have to go to college?”

My response surprised me almost as much as the question. I told her five – even two – years ago I would have said absolutely. I wouldn’t have hesitated. Yet, here I was hesitating and giving a different answer.

“I don’t know.”

Eat breakfast. Lose Weight.

In August of 2012, my family and I took the Whole30 Challenge. For 30 days, we ate real food - no sugar, no alcohol, no grains, no legumes, no dairy, no white potatoes - just healthy meats, fruits, vegetables, nuts, and oils. (Here's what we ate.)

In 30 days, I lost ten pounds. Over the course of the next two months, as I learned how to incorporate some of those prohibitions back into my diet (and discovered ibuprofen makes me sick, sick, sick to my stomach) I lost another 10 pounds.

I have maintained that weight loss for over a year.

Geocaching for Beginners

Over fall break, my family developed a new obsession. We began geocaching and now that we've started we can't stop! I wanted to share our new hobby with all of you.

What is geocaching? 

Basically, it's a real live treasure hunt  happening all over the world. Containers ranging in size from a large bucket to a tiny test tube are hidden by geocachers in every possible geographic area. (Over two million of them!) You sign up online or download geocaching.com's app, get the GPS coordinates, and go find the treasure!

Guest Post: 5 ways to prepare your children for the unthinkable

Due to events in my own life, I have spent a lot of time recently thinking about how my children would cope if I were to pass away suddenly. It's an incredibly difficult thing to think about but I know no better person than my friend Emily to tackle this tough subject.  

Recently, I posted a rant on Facebook. I had read several sugary-sweet posts in the mom-to-baby vein wherein the parent promised to be there for the child through everything from the first day of school to the bad high school haircut.  These posts, and presumably the parents who write them, are idealistic bordering on delusional.  

It is a hard reality that many parents will not be there for their children—something health-related or financial could happen to jeopardize that storybook ending.

Approximately 1 in 20 children under age 15 will lose one or both parents.  As many as 1 in 7 will lose a parent before age 20.  Some websites had the stats even higher.  Furthermore, these statistics do not account for dealing with an accident or disease not resulting in death.  

I don’t need statistics to tell me how devastating the loss of parents is.

 

Church is for me.

Over two years ago, my husband and I started taking Griffin to church. At the time, I wrote an honest and heartfelt explanation of why I was taking my child to church despite my long and complicated personal history with the institution. 

I was doing what was best for him. I was giving him a chance at the spirituality and faith I had long ago abandoned. I was being a good mom.  

Well, a funny thing happened on the way to the altar. Week by week. Month by month. I began to fall in love with church. 

 

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Government Shutdown: What's the REAL problem?

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The government shutdown is over. Two weeks and 20 billion dollars later, there are several stories coming out of this debacle. Americans are angry at Congress. The Republican party is divided. Obamacare still exists. 

However, buried within each article I’ve read is what I consider the real cause of this debacle and the current political cold war.

Here it is in New York Times article today entitled Losing a Lot to Get Little:

The worry among many Republicans is that the Tea Party flank will not get the message, mainly because their gerrymandered districts are so conservative they do not have to listen.

Am I making my child afraid?

fearless-v-afraid.jpg

When I was a little girl, I had a poster hanging on the wall next to my bed. The poster was of Minnie Mouse and Daisy Duck sharing a sundae in a 1950s dinner. I was CONVINCED that if I fell asleep facing the poster I would have nightmares, usually involving vampires.

I was afraid of vampires and spiders and ghosts. My father once let me watch Unsolved Mysteries, so I was terrified of being kidnapped. I also remember watching the television movie I Know My First Name Is Steven, based on the real life abduction of Steven Staynor, and being thoroughly traumatized.

I assume that these were normal childhood fears, and I don’t believe I suffer from any long-term consequences. My parents told me there was nothing to be afraid of and in a way they were right. The thing that ended up filling my childhood with scary images and long-term trauma was something no one saw coming.

Of course, now as a parent, I see the scary things that haunt children from a completely different perspective. Neither of my children are particularly fearful. I’ve only seem Amos shake with fear once and that was only over a particularly pesky fly.

However, I wonder if this has made me too complacent in a way. Recently, Griffin has basically had to tell me something was too scary for him. 

The first time it was the real world nightmare of the Syrian civil war. I was listening to NPR and a report of the chemical weapons being used on the Syrian people. When Griffin asked me what they were talking about, I explained a bad man far away was using chemicals to hurt people.

“I don’t want to listen to this. I shouldn’t listen to things about people dying.” 

I was stung. He was right. I’ve always tried to be honest with him and take a hands off approach in my parenting. However, sometimes I forget I do need to protect him from the scary things in life.  The second time we were watching Epic and he informed me that this wasn’t a good kids movie and it was scaring him.

Both times I was left feeling like a bit of a failure. I feel strongly that my job is not to always protect my children but to teach them to protect themselves. I stay calm and encourage them to step into their fears – not away from. Some of this is my own personal fear… of being afraid. Being fearful is the only thing I can’t stomach. If I feel myself pulling back or clenching in fear, I step further into it. I try (although not always successfully) to make decisions out of confidence – not out of fear. 

However, I’ve realized that’s more an attitude towards change or new experiences – not an attitude towards all things scary. I’m not running to the theater for every new Saw film, and you wouldn’t catch me at a haunted house. I’m not interested in fear for fear’s sake.

I’m just not sure how to tell the difference when it comes to my kids. How do I teach them to try new things and to recognize fear for the paralyzing and often detrimental emotion it often is without inadvertently giving them more the be afraid of? How do I find the line between fostering independence and fostering fears?

I definitely haven’t discovered the answer and I suspect the line will be different with every child. 

As we get closer and closer to the fright fest that is Halloween, I’m wondering how do you deal with your kids’ fears?

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The online home of Sarah Stewart Holland