"You're going to have a v-steam...I'm not telling you what that is," says The Other Sarah upon my arrival in L.A.
It's a good thing I like surprises.
I arrived at Tikkun Holisitc Spa on Wednesday morning and was greeted by the owner Niki Han Schwarz. She was as revealing as Sarah was secretive.
"You're having a vaginal steam. Are you familiar with the procedure?"
Well... I'm familiar with my vagina and I'm familiar with steam but I sure as hell never thought I'd be putting the two together in the same sentence - much less the same physical space. She politely explained it was an ancient procedure that was performed on Korean royalty and that it would release toxins while increasing hormonal balance. Basically, I pieced together that I would be sitting over a steaming pot of herbs.
She tooks me back to the treatment room and wrapped me in a purple strapless robe that would trap the steam. I sat on a big fancy chair (felt sort of like a throne, which in combo with the purple did feel a bit royal) and she informed me I would sit with the steam for 30 minutes.
Whoa. Thirty minutes!
At this point, I had given her my cell phone to charge during the spa treatments. I smiled. "Is there anyway I can get my cell phone back?"
No way I was going to sit there for a half an hour getting my vagina steamed without telling half the planet...which I proceeded to do once she brought me my phone. I basically texted every girlfriend I had (as well as Nicholas). Seriously. If we've shared so much as a fun coffee date, you probably got this text from me last week.
"FYI. I'm currently having my vagina steamed. Just thought you should know."
Nicholas has still not responded. I can't decide if that's good or bad. Here is a sampling of responses from my nearest and dearest:
"Wtf? What does that even mean?" (Actually I got WTF a couple of times.)
"How does one find out about a vagina steam?"
"With what desired result?"
"California is a strange land!"
One girlfriend has even taken to calling me steamy.
When I wasn't giggling at the steady stream of texts coming my way, the procedure itself was pretty relaxing. The chair itself wasn't super-comfortable but apply heat to an (ahem) substantial part of your body for a long period of time and you start to feel the affects.
Unfortunately, you have to do a series of steams to really feel the long-term benefits and I don't see this procedure coming to Paducah anytime soon. However, it was really fun and a unique experience I would recommend it to anyone.
Also, you have no idea how much I've loved dropping this into casual conversation.
"How was your trip to LA?"
"Well! I got my vagina steamed!"