Welcome to Flashback Friday, where I delve deep into the piles of my childhood memorabilia so that we can reminisce, laugh at the bad perms, and finally prove that merely throwing away your NKOTB door hanging does not diminish your love for Jordan Knight.
Tomorrow my husband and I will celebrate our ten year
anniversary. Surrounded by our nearest and dearest, we plan to renew our vows
in the front yard and then party late into the night in our back yard.
When I look back now, I realize marriage really intimidated me. I was a child of divorce. Even though my mother had remarried and her and my stepfather had (and still have) a great relationship, I was worried. I knew I loved Nicholas. I knew I was ready to be in a committed relationship but, in a way marriage seemed like a roll of the dice.
How could I stack the odds in my favor?
I decided that if Nicholas and I preemptively tackled every possible conflict before we got married our odds of staying married would be better. So, I sat out to find every “Know your partner” quiz and “Ten Things You Should Ask Before You Got Married” list the burgeoning Internet had to offer.
Nicholas played along – night after night – as we talked about future children, career goals, and who would do the dishes.
I even found a book.
An entire book dedicated to partnership quizzes! One hundred and sixteen pages of likes, dislikes, passions, problems, and plans.
Whew! I’m exhausted just flipping through it. I cannot believe I filled the whole thing out and I REALLY can’t believe Nicholas participated.
As different as I feel from the young girl who filled out all the blanks and checked all the boxes, it is surprising how little about our relationship has changed. Nicholas still loves my passion for life and I still want to hear his opinion on almost everything. We still fight about money and how long it’s been since Nicholas’s last haircut.
Of course, one thing has changed. I’m no longer intimidated by marriage. I realized a long time ago that divorce isn’t the luck of the draw. People get divorced because they never should have gotten married in the first place. While I had my doubts about marriage, I never once had any doubts about Nicholas.
I knew he would make a loving husband, a wonderful father, and an amazing partner.
I thought I needed quizzes as evidence but now the years we have spent together are all the proof I need.
Anyone want to offer up marriage advice for our next ten years?